Long Time

It has been a really long time since I wrote on my blog. What can I say? A lot has happened. I am now in my second year in State, I live in an apartment with 4 other roommates. It has been crazy but the people with whom I got lucky to share a room with are quite special. 

I met a friend. Her name is Rebeca. She is one of my roommates, she live in the same room and she has become my best friend. It's weird, I never thought that you could meet someone and click instantly but you can, its great. My other friend Esther, she is something alright. I mean this in the most nicest way, I do. I love this girl. She is someone that I never thought in a million years would ever be friends with me because we physically look very very different but because at first we were or seemed at least like different people but ultimately when I got the chance to know her better we were more similar than different and so both Rebeca and Esther have become two of my greatest friends here. Also, I gained another friend his name is Dylan and he is the sweetest and most blunt person I know. I am truly blessed with amazing friends.

I have also gotten a job. Wont go too much into detail about it well because I don't think I can but the simplest way i can explain it is that I am basically a waitress at an elderly home. It's actually really nice working there. 

For my very personal and nonexistent social life there is not much to say. Maybe not really though. I have gotten three tattoos since August of 2014. They are all on my left arm. I have a butterfly, the words ordinary miracle with roots under the words and the I have a paradise flower with the word fortitude underneath. Yes I know people say its four but technically the last two were done together. It doesn't matter though. Much to anything nothing has really happened. I do hope I can write more but I have become busy and most of my writing I actually use pen and paper more because its easier and I like it better but I wont stop trying. Its almost the end of the first month of a new year but here's to a new year, new rules, new beginnings, new memories, and new us, to TWENTY FIFTEEN!
Much Love.

Change.

There are things that will always change. Today was a good day great actually and upon hearing some bad news which I will not share, I realized that things aren't always so amazing. Things change and they always will. I can't say that I didn't know that but things sometimes don't turn out the way we want them too. My faith has been tested numerous of times and even though I won't lie I have questioned it; I find it that at the end of the day God does things for a reason and I can't be questioning His plans for me and my family. 

It's difficult to say oh well things will work out because the truth is we don't know that yeah they may but who are we to know and say that. They might not and the reason could be so that we have a bit of trouble and difficulty in such an amazing life because we need to know. I won't lie it sucks to see so much shit happening to us in the past year but they happen and we can't stop it. 

Sometimes I question if I did the right thing on moving away. I know that it was for school and even though it was bound to happen for things to change I wonder if this was the right time. Maybe I could have waited and maybe things wouldn't be so bad you know but that's the thing we don't and the thing is we need to wait and see whether things will change for the better or the worst. Only time will tell and it will be then that we will know whether the change was really that bad.

Myself.

There were things that couldn't be stopped

There were things that couldn't be said

We listen and don't respond or

We listen and speak in fear.

Fear over shadows what I first thought.

My thoughts no longer mattered and what ever I decided to do never happened.

My dreams became fears that I no longer wished to accomplish.

My accomplishments no longer existed

The goal that I had set for myself was no longer there and everything that I had been working for seemed to no longer matter.

I wish that things were not like this and that I was focus on what I wanted but I cant concentrate.

Maybe I am just trying to find myself in this journey and this is the process. 

I find it difficult to be goal oriented and be ambitious because I have seen how these things can ruin someone and I don't want to become like that and have to have a reality check to see what truly matter and that what  I have is better than what I sometimes want and desire.

To my family whom I love with all my heart.

The Beginning.

The Beginning. 

It says that I published this on August 23, 2013 but I didn't write anything.
I started this blog to write about my time in college. I started school late August and leaving my family has been one of the hardest things I have done. I know that it was going to be difficult but I never thought I would miss home this much.I guess though that this is all part of the process the experience really. Maybe I am just using this as a way for me to look back when my college life is over but that is just the beauty of it. Whether you choose to follow me on this journey, well that is up to you. However, if you are still here then Welcome. I don't plan on having certain things to write about but I will try to cover the basics of my day and at the end I will dedicate space for what I find to be most important for me to remember. It is near the end of October now and i have lost valuable time but lets pretend that I just started today October21,2013. Welcome to my journey.

-Jocelyn